The Case of the Almost Missing Syrup Container: A Restaurant Review

An object at the center of scandal so full of excitement Michael Bay is vying for the screenplay rights

Today's post transcends genres. It is a review of a perfectly pleasant breakfast experience I had in a dive situated on a bustling street in downtown Newport, and it is the story of a crime interrupted. A crime so heinous, I shudder to speak of it. This aborted crime involves a woman so diabolical that hardened criminals shudder in her presence and the above syrup container that is "just so cute". This story, is without a doubt, not for the faint of heart.

Y'all should know by the first paragraph that
she's about to cause trouble. 

I grew up in a greasy spoon. I mean this with all seriousness. From a time well before I was born, my parents were involved in various capacities with Country Kitchen in Norwood, Ohio. This slice of The Gem of the Highlands is now called the Bluebird, and, for a short time, went by the name The Pike, or something similarly odd. My dad started working the grill at Country Kitchen when he was fourteen years old. A few years later, he and The Mom met there when she took a waitress job at the urging of my great aunt Betty, whom The Mom is named after. I couldn't begin to count the hours of my life spent at "The Kitchen". I still recall the cast of characters that frequented the counters in the heyday of this establishment. They were a motley crowd of gamblers, confirmed bachelors (It was the 80's. This was still a term!), neerdowells, and general eccentrics. These people had stories, and they shared them hours on end over bottomless cups of scorched coffee. This part of my life story has blossomed into a great love for this particular type of eatery. I love to visit these mom and pops for some greasy breakfast fair, some top quality people watching, and a sense of personal nostalgia.

Biscuits and gravy, duh!

The Mom and I often search out these stops for leisurely weekend brunches. Today we made our way to Monmouth Street in Newport to visit one of the most well known of local greasy spoons still operating in our area. If you google Pepper Pod, one of the first things you might notice is their 4.5 star google rating. This makes me smile. It tells me that there is a thriving community that enjoys the super casual appeal of this type of restaurant. Nothing, to me, is more soulless than a run of the mill breakfast in a cookie cutter, chain eatery. Places like the Pepper Pod... that's home. That's love. That's good food.

I readily admit the Pepper Pod isn't for everyone. First and foremost, they allow smoking. I knew this going in, as it seems to be the number one complaint of the aforementioned google reviewers. This wasn't a problem for The Mom and me, but I know it's a problem for some. If it's a problem for you, I'd recommend skipping this place. At ten thirty on a Sunday morning, it didn't seem to bother the gathered crowd. The two good sized rooms were about half full and hummed with a short order energy. The crowd was eclectic. There was a good mix of hipster slummers, Sunday morning hangover sufferers, and a fair spattering of older couples dressed well and basking in their retirement.

The physical restaurant hearkens back to decades past. Like most in this area of town, the building is older but appears to be in good shape. There's been no misguided attempt to update the facade. I get the feeling that it looks today just how it would have looked had I visited in those 80s and 90s days when I was spending so much of my time at Country Kitchen. The interior immediately sets the scene. You know this is going to be simple food, cooked with pride. It's going to be familiar. The jukeboxes lining the walls add a quaintness that somehow puts one at ease. You feel like maybe you've been here before in a simpler time.

The menu was exactly what I expected. Lots of breakfast options with no shortage of meals featuring local favorite, goetta. Burgers and double-decker sandwiches round out a solid lunch menu, and there are multiple options for dinner fare. One dinner option that caught my eye was liver and onions. While this is not a personal favorite, finding this on a menu always speaks to me. It puts me in mind of a couple that's come to a joint for years on end every Tuesday night to enjoy this dated dish. It tells me there is a certain respect for the customer and what they want as opposed to a need to jump on trends. The mom and I decided on a breakfast option featuring a slab of goetta, two eggs any style, and toast. We added an order of french toast with strawberries and cream, and a half order of biscuit and gravy. Our coffee and sweet tea came out quickly, served by a friendly and accommodating young lady that took our order. The coffee was a bit on the weak side for my taste, but coffee is always a matter of perspective. As we waited for our meal, the server and one of the short order cooks checked in on our need for refills multiple times. Every member of the staff we interacted with was open and efficient.

When our food arrived, the first thing I noticed was that our eyes were certainly going to prove larger than our stomachs. The portions are more than sufficient. The goetta breakfast had advertised a "slab" of the distinctly Cincinnati treat. It more than delivered. There was enough french toast to make two meals. The Mom and I gave each other a grin and both dug into our favorite, the biscuits and gravy. The biscuits were a good vehicle for the gravy. The gravy needed a little salt and pepper, but with this addition was incredibly savory and a great consistency. The eggs and potatoes also needed a hit of salt, but the potatoes were crispy and hot and the eggs were well cooked. I tend to go for a scrambled egg, but I am often disappointed. So many restaurants don't take the time to scramble an egg well. Too often they are overcooked and odd shades of varying yellow and white. The scrambled egg aficionado if often left feeling like an afterthought to those customers that gravitate more to the fried or poached egg lifestyle. These eggs, however, were just right and well mixed.

That's a lot of delicious goetta

The french toast was something to behold. It was crispy and hot with a generous portion of strawberry and whipped cream. I was not a huge fan of the fruit, as it was mixed with an overly sweet glaze. I realize that's how some folks dig it. I'm personally more of a fan of just the fruit standing on its own. That being said, there was nothing inherently wrong with the flavor. This may seem an odd thing to state as my favorite part of the meal, but the buttered toast was incredible. It may be the best piece of toast I've ever had from a restaurant. It was crunchy and buttery. Toast is often an afterthought, but here, someone has put some thought into making good toast. To the point that The Mom and I spend several sentences considering how they had created such delicious toast. While both are highly edible, if you go and are contemplating toast vs a biscuit, go all in with the toast.

As we ate, The Mom mentioned over and over how cute she found the little silver syrup container that held the mapley goodness delivered to smother our french toast with even more sugar. While, I agree, it was cute, she seemed completely obsessed with this shiny vessel. Our server stopped by once to check on us, and The Mom asked her if she could buy one of the syrup containers. The nice lady looked at the weird lady oddly and promised to ask if The Mom could purchase one.

As the meal came to an end and the check was delivered, it became clear that the server had either forgotten the request or hoped The Mom had forgotten the request. I walked the few feet to the counter to pay the check (a respectable $21 considering how much we ordered). Out of the corner of my eye, I could see The Mom fiddling with something at the table. I looked over to see her cleaning out the silver syrup vessel. She was so engrossed with this act that she jumped when I whisper hissed, "DO NOT STEAL THAT!!" She turned her big blue eyes filled with mischief on me. "I would never!" she tried unconvincingly to seem hurt by my accusation. "Don't you dare!" I eyeballed her cautiously as our server came to the counter to take my money. The Mom stood up and walked to the counter with me. Sweetly, The Mom asked the lady again about purchasing the syrup cup. Our server, beaten down by The Mom's charm, agreed to go ask. She came back quickly and apologized that she could not sell one. From the exposed kitchen, a gentleman working the line laughed and offered to sell The Mom this strange item that we have absolutely no use for for a hundred dollars. The mom laughed along with him and swore they'd make the deal on our next visit.

Crime stopper extraordinaire

My friends, when I tell you there is never a dull moment with The Mom, I truly mean it. I wouldn't trade these weird encounters for the world, however. All her eccentricities keep us both laughing and always leave us with a story to tell. But, it's more than that. I wouldn't trade her for the world because the syrup container coveter is the same woman who, as we walked back to our car, offered our leftovers to a thin young man that was rummaging through a garbage can on the sidewalk. He thanked her kindly but stated he wasn't hungry and was only looking. He told her he was traveling through the area, and they spent a few moments getting to know each other before we moved on.

So, the Pepper Pod? Worth a trip back in time. The syrup container? Still residing in its right and true place thanks to some quick detective work on my part. The Mom? A beautiful soul that I'm proud to call mine.

The woman, the myth, the legend: The Mom