Dreams of the Things we Carry
Since I was a small child, I have been fascinated by the land of dreams. My family bought a house and moved when I was in Kindergarten. The same year, I was blessed with a baby sister. For a five year old in a stable and loving home, that was a great deal of big change in a short amount of time. Now that I've had many (many many many) years to reflect, it's no wonder that this is about the same time that I began to have a series of terrifying apocalyptic dreams. This was seriously some chill inducing stuff for a child so young. We're talking Biblical end times imagery with the old horned and forked tailed devil showing up at my dream door asking me to make soul defining decisions. My family was also quite active in church at this time, it's worth noting. I was five. Can you imagine how frightening that was?
I had those dreams over and over for a good couple of months. Those devilish dreams morphed into dreams of being stuck in a runaway car. Over the next few years the nightmares evolved and changed and lessened in frequency, but they were always terrifying. I can still remember the rush I would get from waking up and realizing they weren't real scenarios but rather just images my sleeping brain had conjured. Part of my nightly prayers each evening in those days were to spend my slumber free of bad dreams.
I had nice dreams, too, on occasion, but it seems those good ole' nightmares are the ones we remember. And it's worth noting, I don't think these were anything particularly strange. I have always had a highly active imagination, a rather unique world view (if I do say so myself), and a tendency to skew toward the anxious while still functional side. It was simply my young brain processing the changing world around me. There's a lot of stimulus a child has to process on a daily basis. I think, as adults, we're apt to forget that. Sometimes for children that all culminates in terrifying dreamscapes.
Sadly, I've reached "don't really remember my dreams" years old. I can't say I don't dream, like many adults claim. There are often mornings I wake up with a fleeting memory of that other world. However, save for the very rare doozy, they stay in my conscious mind for only those few moments between sleep and hitting fast forward on another day of world conquering.
Last night, I had one of those rare doozies. It was pretty straightforward in symbology. I was spending my first day with a fresh set of amazing fifth graders in my old classroom. All the while, I was being constantly called out of the room to perform tasks for my new actual position. My students were upset about being neglected by their new teacher, the teachers were furious that I wasn't showing up to let them use the restroom, and there was a rather amusing cameo by a real person from my past that was furious that I hadn't catered lunch for the entirety of the school. I know I was deep in this place because it took my alarm to drag me from it. I consistently wake up five minutes before my alarm goes off, no matter the time it's been set to ring. I was clearly steeped in the anxiety of this dream. While it might sound mundane in explanation, in dreamland it was terrifying. Of course, in the real world, it made me chuckle. What an absurd set of circumstances, right? That's not real, and it couldn't be.
I shared the dream with a friend that I knew would be amused by the particulars. She replied with the typical "lol" and then mentioned that it was a "stress dream". Analyzing the changes in my life over the past few months and taking into account that I was performing a new task in front of a bunch of people for the first time today clearly proves my friend was spot on in her dream analysis.
That comment made me think, though, about the power of dreams. While I do tend to be a little internally skittish, I think that is a trait that has served me well. It keeps me on my toes and aware of the world and my impact on said world. However, I tend to walk through life with a decent amount of outward confidence, but we all have those moments when life just gets a little scary. That doesn't mean terrifying. Sometimes it just mean unknown and unsure. We know it'll work out. We know we'll rock the moment in the end, but that doesn't stop the nerves from getting a bit on edge.
I think one of the key blessings in the human existence is this dream world where all those fears we swallow can bubble up in a safe and controlled environment. They can't really hurt us there, but we can let them surface, deal with them, and then wake having released all of those fears into an oblivion that isn't reality. Just like when I was a little kid. I was processing all these new experiences the real world was offering me. Most of them were amazing. Some of them were terrifying, and my brain took all of that and played it out in these mysterious worlds beyond my actual realm.
I don't claim to have a deep understanding of why we dream. Many folks way smarter than me have studied that oddity for years. However, I think they're a blessing. They're a cleanser for the mind. After my dream time jaunts last night, I went on to have a great day. Sure, I was still a little nervous, but I wasn't sitting on that cold block of ice that can sometimes cripple us. I just took a deep breath and did life to the best of my ability. I give credit for that, in no small part, to my stupid dream.
There's no grand final thought to this line of thinking. It's just something I found interesting and thought I'd look to put out there into the ether that is this blog.
Sweet dreams, friends.
**all images are free stock photos taken from www.freeimages.com
I had those dreams over and over for a good couple of months. Those devilish dreams morphed into dreams of being stuck in a runaway car. Over the next few years the nightmares evolved and changed and lessened in frequency, but they were always terrifying. I can still remember the rush I would get from waking up and realizing they weren't real scenarios but rather just images my sleeping brain had conjured. Part of my nightly prayers each evening in those days were to spend my slumber free of bad dreams.
I had nice dreams, too, on occasion, but it seems those good ole' nightmares are the ones we remember. And it's worth noting, I don't think these were anything particularly strange. I have always had a highly active imagination, a rather unique world view (if I do say so myself), and a tendency to skew toward the anxious while still functional side. It was simply my young brain processing the changing world around me. There's a lot of stimulus a child has to process on a daily basis. I think, as adults, we're apt to forget that. Sometimes for children that all culminates in terrifying dreamscapes.
Sadly, I've reached "don't really remember my dreams" years old. I can't say I don't dream, like many adults claim. There are often mornings I wake up with a fleeting memory of that other world. However, save for the very rare doozy, they stay in my conscious mind for only those few moments between sleep and hitting fast forward on another day of world conquering.
Last night, I had one of those rare doozies. It was pretty straightforward in symbology. I was spending my first day with a fresh set of amazing fifth graders in my old classroom. All the while, I was being constantly called out of the room to perform tasks for my new actual position. My students were upset about being neglected by their new teacher, the teachers were furious that I wasn't showing up to let them use the restroom, and there was a rather amusing cameo by a real person from my past that was furious that I hadn't catered lunch for the entirety of the school. I know I was deep in this place because it took my alarm to drag me from it. I consistently wake up five minutes before my alarm goes off, no matter the time it's been set to ring. I was clearly steeped in the anxiety of this dream. While it might sound mundane in explanation, in dreamland it was terrifying. Of course, in the real world, it made me chuckle. What an absurd set of circumstances, right? That's not real, and it couldn't be.
I shared the dream with a friend that I knew would be amused by the particulars. She replied with the typical "lol" and then mentioned that it was a "stress dream". Analyzing the changes in my life over the past few months and taking into account that I was performing a new task in front of a bunch of people for the first time today clearly proves my friend was spot on in her dream analysis.
That comment made me think, though, about the power of dreams. While I do tend to be a little internally skittish, I think that is a trait that has served me well. It keeps me on my toes and aware of the world and my impact on said world. However, I tend to walk through life with a decent amount of outward confidence, but we all have those moments when life just gets a little scary. That doesn't mean terrifying. Sometimes it just mean unknown and unsure. We know it'll work out. We know we'll rock the moment in the end, but that doesn't stop the nerves from getting a bit on edge.
I think one of the key blessings in the human existence is this dream world where all those fears we swallow can bubble up in a safe and controlled environment. They can't really hurt us there, but we can let them surface, deal with them, and then wake having released all of those fears into an oblivion that isn't reality. Just like when I was a little kid. I was processing all these new experiences the real world was offering me. Most of them were amazing. Some of them were terrifying, and my brain took all of that and played it out in these mysterious worlds beyond my actual realm.
I don't claim to have a deep understanding of why we dream. Many folks way smarter than me have studied that oddity for years. However, I think they're a blessing. They're a cleanser for the mind. After my dream time jaunts last night, I went on to have a great day. Sure, I was still a little nervous, but I wasn't sitting on that cold block of ice that can sometimes cripple us. I just took a deep breath and did life to the best of my ability. I give credit for that, in no small part, to my stupid dream.
There's no grand final thought to this line of thinking. It's just something I found interesting and thought I'd look to put out there into the ether that is this blog.
Sweet dreams, friends.
**all images are free stock photos taken from www.freeimages.com
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